Reflection 4.2

I am very pleased with my final draft of my narrative argument paper.  I think I had to use that thing when you take something out that worked well to better the rest of the paper (I forget the actual phrase).  I went to the writing center last week and we came to the agreement that putting all of my narrative in the past worked the best for the entire paper, so even though the feedback from classmates enjoyed that 1st person narrative, I think that the past was effective as well.  I also think that a narrative should make a reader "feel in the moment" by the text, not by the tense of the text.
I think I actually changed something about my paper from each of the comments, so I revised this paper much more thoroughly than the others. I like the addition of the source about psychological effects of living alone.  I think that it adds alot to the furthering of the point.  I think it is the most developed paper I have written in this class.

Overall during this class I have learned so much about my writing process as well as critical thinking/reading. I now have access to all of these different styles of arguments if the topic or audience demands it.  I know that I have the ability to rebut articles or other pieces of work in a way that actually works, rather than just saying that I don't agree.  I can use the logos, ethos, pathos, and kairos appeals to discredit the author or focus on other evidence that does not support the claim.  I have become more confident in my writing over the semester and I know this will transition over to the rest of my college career.
Thanks for a great semester, hope all is well with the baby, and good luck finishing the book. I plan on reading it, but it might take me a few years. I'm a slow reader.

Narrative 4.2

We All Need Somebody

I hate air conditioning in cars.  I always prefer windows, but especially in our family minivan, the AC makes the car smell like stale bread.  So even on a sunny, 85 degree August afternoon in the summer of 2009, I had all my windows down, my “Favorites” playlist on my iPod blasting tunes, and I was as happy as can be while doing my daily deliveries.  That was my first time doing this particular route, even though I have been volunteering for almost two months.  Following the directions on my GPS, I pulled into the driveway of an old but relatively well kept house.  I looked around the neighborhood and saw similar houses, forming a reasonably residential area except for the fact that there were no kids playing outside.  I turned off the car and popped the trunk to unload the meals for the day.  The smell of processed food combined with plastic filled my nostrils as I retrieved the hot meal and soup, and then the cold bag lunch. 

After I walked up the path and knocked on a screen door, an elderly man in his 70s appeared in the doorway.  He wore sweatpants, a sweatshirt and a long brown pipe hung out of the corner of his mouth.  The name on the meals read Edmund Pesta.  I could barely see ten feet into the room because of the thick smoke billowing out of his pipe, but I could hear what sounded like a TV in the background.

I introduced myself and told him that I am a courier for the Meals on Wheels (MOW) program in association with the American Red Cross and asked if I should put the meals in any specific location, as some clients request.  Edmund took the meals and just put them on a desk to his right.  Before the customary “thank you” and my reply of “you’re welcome” and “have a good day,” Edmund asked me where I go to college.  This throws me off initially because if the other regulars tried to start a conversation, it would begin with “wonderful day out” or some other generic conversation starter, not something about my personal life.  Of course I obliged him, and all clients who engaged in conversation for that matter, and informed Edmund that I am still in high school and looking at colleges presently.  I told him the list of schools and it seemed that he wanted to continue to talk, but since I had waiting patrons, I cut the conversation short and continued on my route.

I did not know it at the time, but I would be running that route for the remainder of my three weeks while volunteering for MOW.  According to the MOW main webpage, this national program is one of the oldest and largest organizations representing all of the Unites States (Meals, par. 1).  I was brought into this program as soon as I had my license by a family friend, Debbie Hoagland, who is the coordinator of MOW in the Greater Princeton Area, New Jersey.  I delivered hot and cold meals to mostly elderly people who were either unable physically or financially to afford it.  When I met the other couriers in my area, I was honestly surprised at the demographics of the group.  Most would be considered senior citizens themselves, and they were the most dedicated and kindhearted people I have ever met.  There was one man in his 80s named Cliff, who said he was going to quit because he was getting too old—he has been saying that for 30 years.  The MOW group, fluctuating between one and two million people, is the largest all-volunteer mass in the nation (Meals, par. 3).  The purpose for the MOW program is to make sure that “no senior goes hungry” (Meals, par. 1).  Any senior can sign up for this service; there is a set fee, but no one is denied due to financial troubles.

Three weeks after my first encounter with Edmund, I turned onto the familiar side street in Princeton Junction and pulled into his driveway.  Over the weeks, our conversations have grown in substance and length, so much that clients later on in my route asked if I was injured in a car accident or got lost because I was so late.  Our conversations consisted of what my plans were for college, sports, as well as life in general.  We spoke of ways to live life to the fullest and having no regrets in choices we consciously make.  As I tried not to choke on the tangible fog of fumes from Edmund’s pipe, we spoke about my family, and then we talked about his family.  We talked about how his entire family had moved away from him, leaving his only contacts with the outside world the TV, the occasional neighbor sighting—and me. 

On the last route that I delivered before heading back to school, I told Edmund that he would be receiving meals from another courier.  What he did that afternoon brings out emotions that I still recall today.  He simply shook my hand.  But it was a handshake with meaning. I felt the deep need for connection inside him and unwavering appreciation for the time I have spent with him.  At this point I understood that the reason he talked for so long was not just that he enjoyed talking—because he did—but that there was no one else for him to talk to.  This realization was very emotional for me as I fully grasped the importance of togetherness and the values of having someone to talk with always close by.

When I took the last of the meals of out the trunk I understood what I had just done and I felt strong intrinsic satisfaction.  Not only had I delivered the sustenance necessary for two meals, but I had brightened up everyone’s day on my route.  I can confidently say I made a positive impact on these people because of the smiles and friendly conversations we made.  And these moments did not just last for a second, but for the rest of their day.  I believe all elderly people living alone need the opportunity to have someone brighten their day or even just keep them company. 

Thomas Coleman is the Executive Director of Unmarried America, a nonprofit information service for unmarried employees, consumers, taxpayers and voters.  In 2006, he published his article, “Home alone: more seniors living solo,” dealing with the increased number of one person households.  According to the 2006 Census Bureau, there are about ten million men and women above the age of 65 who are living alone; 75% of that ten million are senior women (Coleman, par. 3).  When put into perspective, this is a staggering statistic and the problem is not about to fix itself.  Coleman continues to say that the main problems with seniors living alone are poor nutrition, lack of public transportation and psychological effects.  Due to lack of support and care in their lives, seniors rarely have the time or energy to make a full meal and therefore become malnourished.  Lack of public transportation is a major problem, especially in suburban or rural areas, because it denies the seniors contact with other people and the ability to live independent lives.  If the senior is living alone because of death or divorce, there are often psychological side effects that need to be addressed (Coleman, par. 5-11). 

On a paper submitted for a Neurobiology and Behavior class in 2008, Carly Frintner explains that:

Human beings are naturally curious.  Drastically reducing the amount of normal social interaction, of reasonable mental stimulus, of exposure to the natural world, of almost everything that makes life human and bearable, is emotionally, physically, and psychologically destructive because it denies us the ability to ask questions and seek reasons and information to form explanations that allow us to understand ourselves as well as our world and our place and purpose in the world. It is logical that we feel less stable and secure overall when the things that our brain and body rely on to connect to and understand our surroundings are taken away from us. (Frintner, par. 2)

These are many of the reasons why senior’s health decrease so rapidly.  It is not in our human nature to be alone, and it never makes sense for someone to be alone when the option of living with other people of similar age and life experiences is so readily available.

The option of assisted living to any extent can effectively eliminate the problems that Coleman introduces.  Retirement Living Group is Utah’s most experienced Assisted Living provider.  On the group’s website, there are videos explaining the changes that have occurred in their lives since moving to these assisted living centers.  Although this center is in Utah and not representative of the entire nation, the residents speak of assisted living centers in general, not specifically about this community. 

The first video is about what would have happened if seniors had not moved to assisted living.  Beth, one of the women giving testimonials said that “if I had stayed in my home, I don’t know if I’d be still be alive.  I was just getting to the point where I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t go anywhere, see anybody, do anything, and I really didn’t care if I lived or died … it became apparent that I had to do something and the doctors felt the same way” (Retirement, n. pag).  The seniors spoke of the difficult choice it was to move from their original residence, but their increased enthusiasm, quality of life and personality burst out of them through the video.  Beth proved this when she said “my personality has blossomed … I feel wonderful and even my doctors say I am a ray of sunshine when they didn’t think so before” (Retirement, n. pag).  One woman became very emotional and started to cry on camera as she explained that if your loved one passes away, it is very difficult to overcome alone: “Don’t put it off [moving to assisted living], because it so much easier.  If something happens to your husband or wife [pauses for crying] you’re here and you’ve got something to be and I can’t imagine not wanting to be here” (Retirement, n. pag).

In another video on how the physical limitations have been removed since moving to assisted living, the seniors explained that they were not alone or isolated anymore.  Carol explained that “there is always someone to talk to, you don’t need a doctor to talk yourself out of stress.  All you need are some kind words with someone or laugh with someone in the hallway … it’s just a whole new world for me” (Retirement, n. pag).  Seniors could now enjoy companionship of others and live life to the fullest.  They also spoke of public trips to zoos, shopping malls and other events in town that were of interest to residents (Retirement, n. pag).

            My grandfather, Cal Prine, is now 83 and living in an assisted living community in Granville, Ohio.  In 2008, the summer before I delivered MOW, my grandmother passed away from cancer in the medical facilities at the center.  Taking into consideration how distraught he was, the center helped immensely with the coping of his loss.  In reaction with this, he created The Muggers, a monthly men’s gathering for breakfast and special presentations.  He is currently the President of the Residence Council, which has responsibilities over internal funds, government of the community and new groups that express interest.  I fully believe that his access to all that these communities have to offer helped in the mourning period and without it, he would be lost all alone in a world of hurt. 

In my experiences with MOW, I understood the impression that one person’s interaction can make on another’s life.  Specifically my conversations and their effects on the citizens in my route.  Everyone seeks someone they can connect with, especially seniors, and I was able to learn how to bond with my clients and leave a positive impact on them.  I am grateful for the experiences I have had through MOW and wish more will react to elderly one person households.

The awareness of living alone and the struggles seniors have to undergo every day could be much less draining if they knew family was close by or if they had friends in a community to support them.  The increasing number of senior single residences needs to be addressed before we lose our loved parents or grandparents, and regret how little we were involved with their lives.  Consider helping your loved ones out and move them into any form of care where they can live their own lives.  Even a simple visit, phone call or gesture of compassion is better than nothing. Who knows, you might brighten up their day. It worked for me.

Works Cited

Coleman, Thomas. Home alone: more seniors living solo. Unmarriedamerica.com. 17 Jul 2006.

Web. 19 Apr 2011.

Frintner, Carly.  Lonely Madness: The Effects of Solitary Confinement and Social Isolation on

Mental and Emotional Health. Serendip.brynmawr.edu. 17 Jan 2008. Web. 5 May 2011.

The Meals On Wheels Association of America. Mowaa.org. 2011. American Red Cross. Web.

19 Apr 2011.

Retirement Living Group. Rlg.net. n.p. Web. 19 Apr 2011.